Greetings, fellow connoisseurs of the sequential arts. Today, we are diving deep into a title that defies the conventional boundaries of romance and social expectations. If you are tired of the repetitive tropes of "boy meets girl" and are looking for something that resonates with the complexities of modern identity, then "I Want to Be a Wall" (*Kabe ni Naritai*) by Honami Shirono is a mandatory addition to your reading list.
Demographics and Context
First, let’s establish the framework. *I Want to Be a Wall* is categorized as a Josei manga. For the uninitiated, Josei targets adult women, often focusing on realistic interpersonal relationships, career struggles, and psychological depth. However, like many modern masterpieces, its appeal transcends demographic labels, offering a profound narrative for anyone interested in LGBTQ+ themes and the nuances of human connection. Originally serialized on *Comic Pixiv*, this series has garnered significant acclaim for its sensitive and mature handling of non-traditional lifestyles.
The Plot: A Marriage of Convenience and Comfort
The story centers on Yuriko, a dedicated *fujoshi* (a fan of Boys' Love manga) who has reached a point in her life where the pressure to marry is becoming unbearable. However, Yuriko has a unique perspective on life: she doesn't want to be the protagonist of a romance. She doesn't want to be the one being confessed to or the one falling in love. Instead, her ultimate desire is "to be a wall"—an invisible observer watching the beautiful stories of others unfold. She identifies as someone who lacks traditional romantic or sexual drive toward others, finding her fulfillment in her hobbies and the fictional worlds she consumes.
Enter Gakuta, a kind-hearted, soft-spoken man who harbors a secret of his own: he is gay and deeply in love with his childhood friend, a man who is now married to a woman. Gakuta lives in a world where he feels he must hide his true self to fit into the rigid structure of Japanese society.
The two decide to enter into a "contract marriage." It is a marriage of convenience—a "Lavender Marriage"—that provides them both with a shield against societal scrutiny. For Yuriko, it’s a way to secure a peaceful life where she can indulge in her fandom without being pestered about her single status. For Gakuta, it’s a way to find a companion who accepts him for who he is, without the pressure of performing a heteronormative role.
Major Themes: Beyond the "Happily Ever After"
The brilliance of *I Want to Be a Wall* lies in its exploration of Platonic Intimacy. While most manga focus on the journey toward a sexual or romantic union, this series explores the beauty of a partnership built on mutual respect, shared domesticity, and emotional support. It asks the question: *Can two people who aren't "in love" in the traditional sense still form a family?*
Another pivotal theme is Identity and Visibility. Yuriko’s desire to be a "wall" is a poignant metaphor for the Asexual/Aromantic experience. She struggles with a world that insists everyone must find a "soulmate" to be complete. Meanwhile, Gakuta’s narrative provides a heartbreakingly realistic look at the "closet" and the grief of unrequited love within the LGBTQ+ community.
The manga also serves as a love letter to Fandom Culture. It treats Yuriko’s passion for BL not as a punchline, but as a legitimate source of joy and a coping mechanism. It explores how stories can provide a sanctuary for those who feel like outsiders in their own lives.
Why You Should Read It
This is not a high-octane Shonen battle or a dramatic Shojo melodrama. It is a quiet, reflective, and incredibly empathetic Slice-of-Life drama. Honami Shirono’s art style is clean and expressive, perfectly capturing the subtle shifts in emotion that occur over a shared dinner or a quiet evening at home.
*I Want to Be a Wall* is a groundbreaking work because it validates those who feel they don't fit the "standard" mold of happiness. It is a story about finding your own space in the world, even if that space is just being a quiet observer—a wall—protecting the things and people you cherish. If you are looking for a manga that treats its characters with the utmost dignity and explores the many shapes that love can take, this is a masterpiece you cannot afford to miss.
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