# Exploring the Taboo: A Deep Dive into "Secretly, I've Been Suffering About Being Sexless"
In the vast landscape of Japanese manga, few genres manage to capture the raw, often uncomfortable realities of adult life as poignantly as the Josei demographic. While Shonen and Shojo often focus on the "happily ever after" or the thrill of the chase, Josei frequently explores what happens after the wedding bells stop ringing. One of the most striking and emotionally resonant examples of this in recent years is the essay-style manga "Secretly, I've Been Suffering About Being Sexless" (*Jitsu wa Sexless de Nayandemasu*), written and illustrated by Mizuho.
The Plot: A Quiet Crisis Behind Closed Doors
The story follows the life of Mizuho, a woman in her late twenties who, by all outward appearances, has a perfect life. She is happily married to a kind, hardworking, and supportive husband. They get along famously, share household chores, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. However, beneath this veneer of domestic bliss lies a painful secret that Mizuho carries like a heavy burden: her marriage has become completely sexless.
The narrative doesn't start with a dramatic betrayal or a sudden loss of love. Instead, it depicts the slow, almost imperceptible "cooling off" of physical intimacy. What begins as "being too tired from work" eventually evolves into a years-long drought. Mizuho finds herself trapped in a cycle of hope and rejection. She tries everything—from buying provocative lingerie to attempting to initiate intimacy—only to be met with gentle but firm rebuffs from her husband. The manga masterfully portrays the psychological toll this takes on her, as she begins to question her worth as a woman and a partner.
Demographic and Style: The Power of the Essay Manga
"Secretly, I've Been Suffering About Being Sexless" is firmly rooted in the Josei demographic, specifically targeting adult women who may be facing similar domestic or emotional challenges. What makes this work particularly impactful is its format as an essay manga (autobiographical or semi-autobiographical storytelling).
Mizuho’s art style is clean and somewhat minimalist, which allows the emotional weight of the dialogue and internal monologues to take center stage. By presenting the story as a personal chronicle, the author strips away the sensationalism often found in fictional dramas, offering instead a grounded, relatable, and deeply empathetic look at a social phenomenon that is increasingly common in modern Japan (and globally).
Core Themes: Beyond the Physical
While the title focuses on the lack of sex, the manga explores themes that go much deeper than physical gratification:
1. The Erosion of Self-Esteem: One of the most heartbreaking aspects of the story is Mizuho’s internal struggle. She grapples with the feeling of being "unattractive" or "defective." The manga highlights how physical rejection from a spouse can bleed into every other aspect of a person’s self-image.
2. The "Roommate" Syndrome: The story examines the paradox of a couple who loves each other deeply but lacks a sexual connection. They become "best friends" or "roommates" rather than lovers, leading to a crisis of identity within the marriage.
3. Societal Pressure and Taboo: Mizuho’s suffering is compounded by the fact that she feels she cannot talk to anyone about it. The manga critiques the societal expectation that "happy marriages" must naturally include a healthy sex life, leaving those who struggle with it feeling isolated and ashamed.
4. Communication Breakdown: Despite their otherwise good relationship, Mizuho and her husband struggle to communicate their deepest needs and fears regarding intimacy. The manga serves as a cautionary tale about how silence can be more damaging than a loud argument.
Why This Manga Matters
"Secretly, I've Been Suffering About Being Sexless" is a vital read for anyone interested in the complexities of modern relationships. It doesn't offer easy answers or a "magic fix." Instead, it provides a mirror to a reality that many couples face but few dare to discuss. For SEO purposes and for fans of realistic drama, this title stands out as a definitive look at the "sexless" phenomenon in Japan, blending personal vulnerability with a broader social commentary.
Whether you are a seasoned Josei reader or someone looking for a mature, thought-provoking narrative, Mizuho’s work is a testament to the power of manga to tackle the most intimate and difficult aspects of the human experience. It is a story of loneliness, love, and the difficult journey toward self-acceptance in the face of a silent marriage.
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