For connoisseurs of the Yuri (Girls’ Love) genre who crave narratives that transcend simple "fluff" and delve into the messy, visceral complexities of adult relationships, "I Love You So Much, I Hate You" (*Kimi no Koto ga Suki de Suki de Daisuki de Kirai*) is a mandatory addition to your reading list. Authored by the talented Yuni, this single-volume manga offers a poignant, often heartbreaking exploration of forbidden desire, professional boundaries, and the agonizing thin line between devotion and resentment.
Demographics and Categorization
While many Yuri titles are categorized under *Shojo* or *Shonen* depending on their publication magazine, "I Love You So Much, I Hate You" firmly occupies the Josei and Seinen crossover space within the Yuri/GL demographic. Originally serialized in Ichijinsha’s *Comic Yuri Hime*, the story targets a mature audience. It eschews high school tropes in favor of an "Office Love" setting, dealing with adult themes such as adultery, workplace power dynamics, and the psychological toll of clandestine affairs.
Detailed Plot Synopsis
The story centers on Saori Fujimura, a diligent and capable office worker who appears to have her life perfectly under control. However, beneath her professional exterior lies a devastating secret: she is deeply, hopelessly in love with her superior, Asami Ayase.
Asami is the embodiment of grace and competence—a brilliant manager who is admired by everyone in the office. But the relationship between Saori and Asami is far from a standard mentorship. The two are embroiled in a passionate, secret affair. The conflict that drives the narrative is not just the secrecy of their lesbian relationship in a corporate environment, but a much more painful reality: Asami is married to a man.
The manga follows the daily internal struggle of Saori as she navigates this "double life." During office hours, she must maintain a cold, professional distance, watching as Asami interacts with other colleagues or mentions her domestic life. In private, their encounters are intense and emotionally charged, serving as a temporary balm for Saori’s loneliness.
The title, "I Love You So Much, I Hate You," perfectly encapsulates Saori’s psyche. She loves Asami with an intensity that borders on obsession, yet she hates her for the power she holds over her heart. She hates that Asami returns to a husband every night, and she hates herself for being content with the "scraps" of affection she is thrown. The plot meticulously tracks the erosion of Saori’s emotional well-being as the weight of being "the other woman" begins to eclipse the joy of the romance.
Main Themes and Psychological Depth
1. The Dichotomy of Love and Resentment:
The core theme is the paradoxical nature of intense passion. Yuni explores how love can become a cage. Saori’s "hate" isn't a lack of affection, but rather a byproduct of her helplessness. The manga masterfully portrays how being deeply in love with someone unattainable creates a cycle of self-loathing and bitterness.
2. Power Dynamics in the Workplace:
As an office-based drama, the manga examines the inherent imbalance of power. Asami is Saori’s boss, adding a layer of professional risk to their emotional entanglement. The narrative questions whether a truly equal relationship can exist when one person holds the keys to the other’s career and social standing.
3. The Reality of Adultery:
Unlike many romanticized "forbidden love" stories, this manga does not shy away from the moral ambiguity and the pain caused by infidelity. It focuses heavily on the psychological consequences for the "third party," illustrating the isolation and the constant fear of discovery that defines Saori’s existence.
4. Performance vs. Reality:
A recurring motif is the "mask" worn by professional women. Both characters are experts at performing their societal roles—the perfect boss and the perfect subordinate—while their true selves are only revealed in the shadows. This commentary on societal expectations for women in Japan adds a layer of Seinen-esque social realism to the story.
Conclusion for the Erudite Reader
"I Love You So Much, I Hate You" is a masterclass in atmospheric storytelling. Yuni’s art style, characterized by expressive eyes and subtle body language, perfectly captures the tension of a stolen glance in a crowded elevator or the exhaustion following an emotional breakdown.
For those looking for a story that treats the Yuri genre with the gravity of a serious adult drama, this manga is a profound reflection on the cost of loving someone you can never truly possess. It is a haunting, beautiful, and ultimately human look at the shadows that exist behind the bright lights of the corporate world.
📖 Leer online en Donmanga:
➡️ I Love You So Much, I Hate You – Leer Manga
